Many of us feel safe within our own comfort zone, a space we have created throughout our lives to give us a sense of control, where things feel predictable and where we are only accountable to ourselves. A space where we keep busy, filling our days with things to do, making certain that discomfort does not sneak in. Doing is a wonderful distractor, it feeds us and makes us feel accomplished. Doing is modelled as “success” in our modern society. It is talked about like it is the superior way of existing. Everything from overworking to over committing…filling our days with distractions so that we don’t have to be with ourselves and feel what is going on inside. Filling our days with noise, because silence challenges us to hear what is happening within. So, we compulsively shop, we drown ourselves in music, we excessively drink alcohol, we gossip, we spend time with social media, we watch television, we obsess about fitness…anything that takes our attention away from our inner selves…anything that keeps us busy and feeling comforted.

Comfort is an unconscious killer of the soul, it gives us a false sense of security and is the breeder of this human condition of disconnection. Resistance to discomfort keeps us stuck in repetitive patterns and daily routines, unconscious of what is really going on inside of us and unable to hear or connect to our inner voice. Our true essence is buried beneath the noise of comfort. We are all guilty of this at some level and have an underlying sense of what may happen if we stop the madness….we will feel, we will connect to our pain body, our hidden emotions and feelings that we have been drowning out and suppressing for most of our lives.

We have been trained to ignore our own natural signals, our own inner wisdom. We stay so busy and distracted that we cannot hear the messages that our bodies are giving us. Our bodies begin to give us signs and signals long before we notice the symptoms…we are just too busy and distracted to hear them. Perhaps we are so well trained to keep seeking for things to soothe us because we haven’t been shown anything different. We haven’t been shown how to be with and move through discomfort to see what it is showing us, we simply don’t know about discomfort. What we do know is that discomfort is necessary for growth and for healing. You cannot grow and/or heal, or find your true comfort, without being uncomfortable.

So how do we heal this addiction to comfort?

We become aware of our thoughts, our fears, our resistance to change. We become aware of our inner dialogue that convinces us to stay in these patterns. We notice how we allow the choices of others be our own excuses for staying in the comfort zone. The first step is awareness. This sounds simple, right? It isn’t. The truth is, this first step is one of the most challenging, because we can’t always see our own patterns and since we try to stay comfortable, we avoid those people or situations that shine light on these patterns. We surround ourselves with people who keep us comfortable. We resonate with those who feed our addiction to comfort.

We need self-awareness in order to truly call ourselves out, an awareness around our behaviors and patterns, for example – exploring the thoughts/feelings/emotions behind each time we reach for a cigarette, each time we reach for our phone to log into social media, each time we reach for a bottle of alcohol or another cup of coffee, each time we go shopping, each time we say yes to more obligations. During these times, we encourage you to pause and ask yourself what is the motivation for these choices? Little by little you will become aware of your patterning, you will begin to understand how many of your choices are made unconsciously and keeping you paralyzed in your own comfort.

If you feel ready to explore those uncomfortable spaces within you, we are here to support you.

Carla & Mark